Though we all long to have our feelings and needs acknowledged, it seems that nothing is more common than for these to be neglected by people around us.
We take so little time to listen to one another and to show that we have absorbed what people have told us. As a result, everyone gets increasingly angry and – deep inside – sad.
The answer is to make the art of listening a global priority.
“One of our deepest longings – deeper than we even perhaps recognise day to to day – is that other people should acknowledge certain of our feelings. We want that – at key moments – our sufferings should be understood, our anxieties noticed and our sadness lent legitimacy.
We don’t want others necessarily to agree with all our feelings, but what we crave is that they at least validate them.
When we are furious, we want another person to say: I can see that you’ve been driven to distraction. It must feel very chaotic for you inside right now for you.
When we are sad, we want someone to say: I know you’re unusually down and I understand the reasons why.
And when we can’t take it all any more, we want someone gently to say: It’s been too much for you; I recognise that so well; of course it has…”
To hear the whole story visit the The School of Life YouTube video